I spent the last week visiting with family in my home (Dad, Stepmom & Brother!) and enjoyed so much of our time together. I also became aware of a part of me that seems to revert to the thirteen year old girl aspect of myself whenever I spend time with family. I get all insecure and worried about what it will take to make everyone happy. I am edgy and easily annoyed, and therefore annoying. I'm not the ME that I usually am. It is simultaneously perplexing and exhilarating to take this kind of really hard look at myself. I feel misrepresented... though I don't blame myself for being anything other than what I am in the present. Okay, well, I do kick myself a little when I think I have caused pain in another... but overall I accept it for what it is and know that everything is as it should be in any moment. In other words: I am loved as I am and love all others as they are and trust that we are all doing our best. So... What feeds my soul?
-being surrounded by loving people.
-sharing with others (though I have much to work on when it comes to not holding back).
-being gleefully alive!
-letting a little more of my bright self shine through each day.
-finding magic in the mundane.
-spending the bulk of my time with the most inspiring, amazing child.
-envisioning an art space where I will make a ritual of making fantastical creations.
-seeing myself surrounded by the community I have always desired.
-major abundance manifestation in action.
-knowing my truth and accepting myself.
In the middle of all of that I do find myself yelling at the dog, putting the kid in time out, crying a little because I feel like a meanie, spending more time that I'd like trying to tune out for a few minutes at a time and generally being human. Damn, this existence is complicated... and incredibly miraculous. I love every moment... and I don't say it enough: I have more love in my heart than I know what to do with. It is so frustrating to not just let it flow. I'm ready. I hope you are, too. It's flowing strong and it is flowing to you.
What feeds *your* soul?