Shadow, light, crimson & aqua.

I'm just marinating in beauty these days. 

 Exploring the woods around our new home has lit this tiny spark in my belly and it's burning bright.

I find myself walking daily, falling into a rhythm, taking care of business... you know, basically living naturally what I have been working toward for so long. Seems that a little movement, both physical & emotional, goes a long way.

The biggest, most striking revelation has been that I don't have to gather the courage to confront shadow. It just has to be done. No prep work necessary... and that in doing so, actually staring into that expansive abyss, the light seeps through and the path is made clear. It is just so juicy, I can hardly stand it.

Here's to newness, crisp air, long walks, doing the work... & peace.

Unapologetic.

Maybe that should have been *20* days of gratitude and beyond? No matter. Truthfully, I have been shying away from this space because 1) way too much has been happening in a short period of time and I have no words to express my gratitude 2) every day is a grateful day, so how could I stop at 30 days? 3)as grateful as I am, some majorly deep, dark stuff has been surfacing and I am in the throes of working through it all. MAJOR stuff. Really. I feel like I have been shaken a bit more awake than usual and that I have to focus all of my intention on integrating what has bubbled up while simultaneously delving into that which is just below the surface. Pixie Campbell's SouLodge has been the catalyst for so much of this soul movement. I'm throwing out some major manifestation mojo to see how I can come up with the cash to sign up for all SouLodges in the year 2012. If it's meant to be, it will be. I'm unfolding into the flow and letting it all be as it is. Trust. It's so much more than I have ever allowed myself to believe in...

And so... Truly, there are not enough words. I'm cocooning. I'm reveling in the cave time. I'm prepping for winter and I am just not in a place to share. Feeling intense, magical, charged, quiet, vulnerable, naughty, excited... and unapologetic. And, I've got to say: It's about damn time.

What feeds your soul?

This is the question that I find myself musing on regularly these days. I love where I am, I love what I am doing yet I am realizing that there is so much unexpressed/unfulfilled creativity brewing deep within. Where do I want to be? What do I want to do that I have yet to make a reality? Where is this all going? What FEEDS my soul?

I spent the last week visiting with family in my home (Dad, Stepmom & Brother!) and enjoyed so much of our time together. I also became aware of a part of me that seems to revert to the thirteen year old girl aspect of myself whenever I spend time with family. I get all insecure and worried about what it will take to make everyone happy. I am edgy and easily annoyed, and therefore annoying. I'm not the ME that I usually am. It is simultaneously perplexing and exhilarating to take this kind of really hard look at myself. I feel misrepresented... though I don't blame myself for being anything other than what I am in the present. Okay, well, I do kick myself a little when I think I have caused pain in another... but overall I accept it for what it is and know that everything is as it should be in any moment. In other words: I am loved as I am and love all others as they are and trust that we are all doing our best. So... What feeds my soul?

-self investigation.

-being surrounded by loving people.

-sharing with others (though I have much to work on when it comes to not holding back).

-being gleefully alive!

-letting a little more of my bright self shine through each day.

-finding magic in the mundane.

-spending the bulk of my time with the most inspiring, amazing child.

-envisioning an art space where I will make a ritual of making fantastical creations.

-seeing myself surrounded by the community I have always desired.

-major abundance manifestation in action.

-knowing my truth and accepting myself.

-so.much.trust.

In the middle of all of that I do find myself yelling at the dog, putting the kid in time out, crying a little because I feel like a meanie, spending more time that I'd like trying to tune out for a few minutes at a time and generally being human. Damn, this existence is complicated... and incredibly miraculous. I love every moment... and I don't say it enough: I have more love in my heart than I know what to do with. It is so frustrating to not just let it flow. I'm ready. I hope you are, too. It's flowing strong and it is flowing to you.

What feeds *your* soul?