.*:Lover Boy becomes Krishna:*.

My sweet white kitty, Shasta Sioux, passed just 2 weeks ago. She was 9 years old. She was a shelter rescue from my days in California and she was a bit of an oddity. When I rescued her I had no idea that she was deaf. I quickly figured that out (the official test consisted of an elderly veterinarian getting up really close to her ear, clapping and yelling "HEEEEEEEEERE KITTY KITTY KITTY"). Didn't matter to me, I chose her and I was committed. That girl was skittish... she hid much of the first year I had her and really didn't come out of her shell entirely until Baz was born. Those last few years were heavenly (save for a couple of incidents when she became a stalker of dogs and spent one family vacation torturing my Mother-In-Law's friendly dog Andy). When I say heavenly, I mean that she really finally relaxed. She was the alpha cat; Queen of the house (the capital Q is intentional). However, she was always tolerant of Baz. She was gentle. She never jumped up on laps for cuddles, but she often swept across my or Ben's legs to let us know she was in the mood for love. She was a good cat, and she was mine.

I took a spontaneous vacation down to California to spend some much needed time with a sister-friend and her family & other friends and family. I was gone 10 days. When I returned, Shasta began yowling her head off and didn't stop for 3 days. She was never a meower. In fact, we would joke that she only meowed quarterly; you know: 4 times per year. That was pretty close to the truth. So, I knew something was off. I thought that she just missed us since Ben said that she hadn't made a peep the whole time I was away. At the end of the third day, she had a 2 minute long seizure. The next day the vet told us that it was rare for a cat to have more than one seizure within a few weeks, often times with 6 months between episodes. We had him run some tests so that we could find out what was wrong with her and make sure that it wasn't contagious to our other cat (Hazel Gray. She's Ben's sweet kitty). Over the next 2 days she had over 15 seizures. Twice she went into seizures as a result of me petting her. It was heartbreaking. We made the decision to have her euthanized as I could no longer watch her suffer.

You might find it odd that I am willing to jump back into another kitty relationship so soon. Well, I mourned hard for my kitty. I mourned harder than I ever would have thought possible. She saw me through the end of an 8 year long relationship. She comforted me through a terrible housemate situation. She was with me when I fell in love, married, had a baby. She moved with me from California to Utah and then to Oregon. I realized that I felt a kinship with her because she was flawed and misunderstood. So much of what I have been working through lately resonates around those themes. Yeah, I loved her. A lot. But I set her little spirit free and felt a strong urge to find new kitty kinship. Not to replace her. Oh, no. That could never be... but to open myself up and see what was to be. Funny thing is, I set my intention for another kitty so unlike her. I wanted a cuddler. I wanted a kitty that would be gentle with & not freaked out by kid energy. I wanted a boy kitty. But, I still wanted a white kitty (I just love those white cats... random fact: Did you know that white cats make up only ~2% of all cats?). I began to browse petfinder.com. I posted an ad on craigslist. I was committed to taking on a rescue cat. I really thought it would take longer... but when I saw Lover Boy up for adoption at the shelter in Salem, and realized that he was brought in as a stray on the day of Shasta's death, I knew I had to meet him. Today we brought him home.

When we visited him a few days ago, he was covered in kitty dreads. COVERED. He had oil in his tail hair. He had dirt marks all around his head, ears and paws from his ear mite treatment. In other words, he was a hot mess. Imagine our surprise when we showed up to take him home and he had this ridiculous haircut. Thank goodness he at least feels better, because he looks like a shaved poodle. I've taken to calling him "Poodle Pants". ;)

Here he is settling in after braving his way out of the crate and into our home. He went straight to Baz's room and hung out while Baz played and "gave him a tour".

He then sat though a book about the alphabet, complete with storytelling and random facts about Baz's life.

"Did you know that my name is Sebastian? I'm 3 years old and I like to read. Do you like to read, kitty? This is the letter S. Sebastian starts with S."

He came out of his shell rather quickly. We had been tossing some names around: Dandelion, Wishpuff, Krishna, other variations on Krishna such as Govinda. I asked Baz what name he liked and he informed me that the cat already knew his name was Krishna. From Lover Boy to Krishna? Suitable. I like. And so, he is henceforth known as Krishna.

Here he is being lovey.

He wouldn't leave Baz's side and even snuggled with him on the living room floor long after Baz dozed off for the night.

And then!? He crawled over and licked his little nose. Kitty kisses! Yes. Another great reminder to be mindful of what I wish for... those manifestations are sometimes so spot on and quickly received.

Despite being sick as a dog, I'm ecstatic to have chosen and been chosen back. The smile is 100% proof of that. The rosy glow, on the other hand, is pure fever.

Please send us more healing thoughts. Ben has missed 2 days of work because of this awful illness and is eager to get back... and I am eager to have my voice back and to get out into the sunshine and play!

Back in action!

It has been a wild and crazy ride the past few months. We left off with a promise to post a pic of Baz's Halloween costume...

Better late than never? ;) Okay, my apologies. I have a whole pile of excuses, surely none of which anyone is interested in. On an up note: We moved! Loved the coast, but opportunities for work are slim to none in the off season (basically October through May) and Ben is ready to pursue some educational goals. We settled inland about 50 miles in a tiny town called Philomath. We are literally on the border of Corvallis, so best of both small town and college town worlds. Oh! Plus, Corvallis is so much like the positive parts of Davis that we are truly feeling at home here. Pics of the new place to come in the next few weeks!

Naturally, we couldn't stay away from the coast for long. We ventured on over to Newport last night for their community holiday celebration. We slipped into our old neighborhood haunt Savory Cafe and enjoyed ridiculously good pizza & salad before heading on over to the bay for the lighted boat parade. I had a tough time capturing photos of the lighted boats. Don't be fooled... they weren't whizzing by or anything. I was just verrrrry cold and shakey. Also, not sure if 7 boats counts as a parade... but it truly was a sweet idea and fun to warm our hands with hot beverages while we braved the crisp air.

Then, the meat of our visit! Holiday evening visit to Oregon Coast Aquarium! We arrived early and were some of the first in line which meant an hour long wait for the doors to open and one crazy wild Baz running around and talking to anyone who would listen.

Luckily, I was able to get him to stand still long enough to ensure that his photos weren't whizzy like the poor lighted boats' were.

Also, there is a RAD (and maybe a little sad) art display currently at the aquarium. All materials used are found objects/garbage from local beaches. This fish was incredible!

The ceiling to floor jellyfish is made entirely of plastic bottles! There was even a giant coral reef modeled out of styrofoam!

And then there was Santa! Baz climbed up and asked immediately for a blue wooden race car, much to my surprise. Now it is all he talks about. Thank goodness Mama was able to find one and let Santa know which one to bring for Solstice. ;) Honestly, Baz was so thrilled with the candy cane that I think he doesn't much care what Santa brings so long as he leaves behind some candy canes.

We had a good giggle over these fish sculptures getting into the holiday spirit:

Wondering why we had to be at the aquarium so early? Ben was part of the entertainment! He wanted to be a part of the caroling put on by his barbershop chorus, The Coastalaires. Since we moved he has been missing meeting with his guys weekly, but he still plans to study the music and meet back with them for performances until he can find a group he gels with in the valley.

Baz loved watching Daddy sing and wanted to join in, but he had a mouthful of candy cane, so he listened with quiet intent.

...and occasionally Baz would get the attention of the chorus and elicit some cheer from them.

It was a good time and a great kickoff to our holiday season. Looking forward to some snuggles by the fire, much hot cocoa & our annual Christmas Day enchilada feast. Ooooh! And a certain little one's approaching birthday (it's a hot topic in our house right now that he is not going to let us forget). We hope you are all enjoying the season as the dark approaches the light. May good cheer and gentleness fill you and may your December be the merriest!

Catching up.

What have we been doing, you ask? Well, some of you have asked... so this is the post where I begin delivering those promised photos and catch ya'll up. Where to begin? Ahhh yes. Once upon a time, about 14 years ago, I met and fell in love with a super amazing little family: The McBrides. Here is the eldest of their 2 children, Kameron, GRADUATING from high school.

Omg. Feeling a little bit old over here. Seriously, though, I couldn't have been more proud of him. We were so honored to be a part of his day (Good luck, Kam! The world is a big one + lucky to have you and you are going to delight the hearts and minds of many!).

Oh yeah, We joined up for a CSA season with Gathering Together Farm out of Philomath, OR. SO EXCITED for green things to come! This has been one of my little, barely out-of-reach dreams for several years now... and let me just say: Ecstatic! Totally worth the wait. We received our first basket last Saturday... Green onions, spinach, mixed greens, romaine, purple potatoes, carrots, turnips, pea shoots, mint, berry jam... all local, organic & delicious. Our pick up location is at the Newport Farmers' Market, so we supplement our basket with other local goodies; usually fresh baked bread & pastries from Pacific Sourdough & local eggs (a dozen always comes with one green egg!).

Can you spot the green egg? This photo makes the subtlest of distinctions...

Subsequently, we have been devouring copious amounts of these luscious garden gifts:

Usually in stir fry or raw form...

Beyond that, we have been setting up house (and trying to keep up with the kid + dog made messes). Sebastian loves to spread his toys around the house and then crash into this chair/blanket combo for a little recharge.

Ben spends most of his time either out submitting resumes or sitting here at the computer tailoring his resume to specific jobs. He is on the job hunt. Fingers & toes crossed....

The lovely kitchen...

Mysterious red curtains (and a very strange little bathroom just off to the right of the refrigeratior):
Behind those curtains? Beautiful red machines that make laundry days so much sweeter! Dud's specifications for a washer dryer combo were that they be new, work well and be some beautiful shade of red. We definitely hit the criteria. Loving them!

BTW, for those of you who do not believe that Dud exists... here he is getting shtuff done in his home/office/bedroom. You'll just have to wait to meet him in the flesh to catch a sweet glimpse of his smiling face. :P

Back to the living room... Where we stare into the tube (+ Ben's super fun interpretation of Totoro).

Shiva is happily shedding, and refusing food... one little mouse named Lucky was set free this week as a result.

Gratuitous kid sleeping in chair photo... A second view only because I had to include some of the mess he left behind.

Where the kid should be sleeping... or usually does, I should say. This bedroom is much tinier than the one he had in Utah. Doesn't phase him, though. Like I said, he just decorates the rest of the house with his toys. Btw, those little purple and green IKEA frames harbor Sebastian's first paintings! On the right, a work in progress family and friends collage. Important people are missing... I better dig out the glue stick and get to work.

My safe haven! My fluffy Shasta Sioux spends most of her time at the foot of our bed + the door has a lock to keep the kiddo out when mama needs a tiny recharge.

Altar space...

The view from our bedroom window!

The view down below. This is our little shed. LOVE the extra space! Tomatoes have been planted. Hope hope hoping they work some magic and feed us well this summer.

I decided not to grace you with inside views of the bathrooms. Let's face it: a bathroom is a bathroom. Ummm... dining area has recently been home to all papers that need filing, so that shot will have to wait. Just trust that we are making our space cozy and loving every minute. Okay, honestly, not always loving every minute with the dog. He is so much work. Having to wrestle with the possibility that we just may not be dog people. Strange concept as I grew up with dogs. Murphy is too much a part of the family to not work it out with, but sometimes I think he is like the most challenging member in any family. Ahh well, it can't all be roses and rainbows. How boring that would be.

If you can spare some energy, please send the full-time w/benefits job love our way. We need all the sweet manifestation help we can muster. Big blessings and thanks!

30 days of beauty: A little Valentine's fun!

Last night Sebastian asked me, "Ummmmmm, Mama? Can we have for breakfast tomorrow waffles and then go to the playground and play with the swings and then have chocolate ice cream? Oh, yum yum yum yum yum." Seriously, this kid knows what he wants. Our day began with Bas and I waking up to delicious smells emanating from the kitchen. Ben surprised us with a waffles/eggs/veggies breakfast... It was only right that we continued fulfilling the requests. We figured he had the perfect recipe for a Valentine's Day celebration and obliged him + added 2 playground stops to our outing.

The smile says it all! Here Sebastian and Papa are making their way to the 1st playground:

Fluffy clouds and a clear view of the mountain sweetened the deal:

Beautiful trees in Sugarhouse Park:

Rocky Road ice cream for the boys (I had strawberry cheesecake ice cream!):

Thoroughly focused on his treat:

Chocolatey, contemplative face!

The view of the mountains from the playground around the corner from our house:

Bas fully enjoying playground #2 (I had loads of fun monkeying around with him. This playground rocks!).

We were all smiles for a couple of hours, but he did melt down when it was time to go home. Poor kid would live on the playground if we let him. We ended the day with an episode of Caillou (he is so addicted right now... no more Sesame Street or Yo Gabba Gabba. He sure is loyal to whatever show he is into at the time) & a kid favorite dinner of mac n cheese with peas and corn, so the smile has returned. Mama is all smiles, too. Couldn't have asked for a better love day than time spent with my two fave guys.

Holiday Snapshots: The big #2 Birthday!

Yep! The little one is officially 2 years old! I want to know: What is it about birthdays that naturally drives the mama to make sure that the celebration goes smoothly at all costs? How much do the kids really care about the details at 2? First case in point: CAKE. That sucker was the bain of my existence for one day. I woke up on the 20th with one thought only: get the cake right and make it edible by 3pm when the other grandma arrives. Okay, yes, I failed. I woke up and immediately cooked the super mom cake from scratch. When I inserted the first well meaning toothpick, the cake deflated. I deflated. I waited a couple of hours and deliberated between baking another and sending the papa off to fetch a premade savior. We decided to try again, instead. All was well... and then the timer went off. My mother-in-law confidently opened the oven and I watched both cakes meet their demise. Deflation the second. Ugh. Behold the first set of defeated cakes!

Did the 2 year old care? HA! He was too busy playing with his vehicles to notice.

Oh! And then the balloons arrived! Fat chance of expecting any consciousness beyond "Wow, the balloons are colorful and fabulous". Thanks Daddy! Good idea!!!

Next, he opened some gifts. Monkey after monkey made itself known...

There were some coloring books... Elmo themed, of course (with a portrait of the kiddo on the package):

+ some hand wrapped and decorated surprises sent by mail from the other loved ones:

And, of course, 2 grandmas made it for the celebration! Grandma Winnie had as much fun as the birthday boy!

The prized gift! Sebastian reeeeeally wanted this toy jeep. Really, it was the only thing he asked for. I made a sneaky move into the toy store one day when I sent Dad and Bas to fetch some reverse osmosis water at the grocery store... Sebastian led me to the toy store a few days later and was distraught to discover that "jeep" had disappeared. He stared for a long time at the empty shelf and then said something along the lines of, "MAMA! Jeep all gone!!!! OH NO!" I talked to him about how some nice parents must have purchased the jeep for their kiddo. For 2 weeks, Sebastian would walk up to me and talk about how the jeep was gone and some lucky kid would be getting a gift. Poor little guy had no idea that he was the lucky kid.

And then there was the car... Grandma Winnie had mama pick up a ride around car for Bas (the 30th anniversary edition of the car mama had when she was a kiddo). This was the straw that broke the camels back, for sure... At bed time this kid still would not get out.

The cake did prevail after all! We took the first two cakes and carved them up to fill in the fallen parts of the second two... then we added a blueberry jam (by birthday boy request) and frosted the poop out of it. We then decorated with black and blueberries. Oh my! I cannot tell you how delicious the cake turned out. Pure bliss served up alongside vanilla ice cream and blueberry gelato. We could not keep the boy away from the berries. He also made a wish (or at least blew out the candle on the first try).

By the end of the day he was flat out done. Thankfully, Mama only cried twice. #1: Cake ruined!!! (and then revived... a blessing in disguise). #2: @gift presenting time, Mama could not find the gifts for about 8 minutes. Two closets were torn apart, tears discarded before someone asked if they were in the closet by the dining room. OF COURSE... A foreshadowed easy location. I am ashamed to admit that in those 8 minutes I referred to myself as the worst mother in the world. I mean really... Who forgets where their birthday baby's gifts are?!?

All is forgiven, truly. It was an all around good time. Sebastian has way more than his share of toys, he LOVED his cake and berries and he had so much fun with 2 of the grandmas (and grandDud & Daddy & Mama). He loves his book and Yo Gabba Gabba video from Uncle Jevan and Aunt Amelia. He cannot stop drawing on the chalkboard of his easel from Banana Alta and Lenny... And he can't get enough of his "street rug" from Grandma Myrna. Success!!! Next year? Mama will have less emphasis on making it all perfect, because in the end it *was* exactly as it should have been.