::Here I Am::

This space has sat vacant for most of the year... and I find myself drawn back. Not sure where to begin, but here I am. The shifts that have occurred during this break are deep, and rich and truly too numerous to mention. Again... but here I am.

Where am I, exactly?

Okay. The low down:

I'm 37 weeks pregnant and excited for our planned home birth attended by midwives.
I'm savoring alone time with Sebastian before he sinks into big brother-hood.
I'm nesting and resting and settling into Autumn by cozying up near the fire in our hearth, slurping savory soups, luxuriating in warm baths, constantly burning candles and making my space feel as sacred as possible.
I'm rejuvenated and renewed by the many cherished visitors who have travelled to spend time with us in the past few weeks.
I'm gently delving into shadow work with the women of Autumn SouLodge... dreaming of and breathing as Panther.

In short, I'm doing the work. Preparing, waiting and listening to my body. As I dig deeper in the coming weeks, I will be glad to share in this space.

Kinder by Copper Wimmin

Beautiful... & so exactly right on with the messages that I am trying to infuse myself with right now. So grateful that this found its way to me (Thank you, Lodge sister!!). If we all let this sink in and treat ourselves with gentleness & love, perhaps our joyful spark will spread like a wildfire and bring that change that we have been waiting for.

Shadow, light, crimson & aqua.

I'm just marinating in beauty these days. 

 Exploring the woods around our new home has lit this tiny spark in my belly and it's burning bright.

I find myself walking daily, falling into a rhythm, taking care of business... you know, basically living naturally what I have been working toward for so long. Seems that a little movement, both physical & emotional, goes a long way.

The biggest, most striking revelation has been that I don't have to gather the courage to confront shadow. It just has to be done. No prep work necessary... and that in doing so, actually staring into that expansive abyss, the light seeps through and the path is made clear. It is just so juicy, I can hardly stand it.

Here's to newness, crisp air, long walks, doing the work... & peace.

Unapologetic.

Maybe that should have been *20* days of gratitude and beyond? No matter. Truthfully, I have been shying away from this space because 1) way too much has been happening in a short period of time and I have no words to express my gratitude 2) every day is a grateful day, so how could I stop at 30 days? 3)as grateful as I am, some majorly deep, dark stuff has been surfacing and I am in the throes of working through it all. MAJOR stuff. Really. I feel like I have been shaken a bit more awake than usual and that I have to focus all of my intention on integrating what has bubbled up while simultaneously delving into that which is just below the surface. Pixie Campbell's SouLodge has been the catalyst for so much of this soul movement. I'm throwing out some major manifestation mojo to see how I can come up with the cash to sign up for all SouLodges in the year 2012. If it's meant to be, it will be. I'm unfolding into the flow and letting it all be as it is. Trust. It's so much more than I have ever allowed myself to believe in...

And so... Truly, there are not enough words. I'm cocooning. I'm reveling in the cave time. I'm prepping for winter and I am just not in a place to share. Feeling intense, magical, charged, quiet, vulnerable, naughty, excited... and unapologetic. And, I've got to say: It's about damn time.

30 days of Gratitude: Day 20!

What do you get when you have a giant mound of boxes, one very large truck & a box of donuts? MOVING DAY!!! 

Yep, it's that time already. All of our painting and packing has paid off and there is light at the end of the proverbial tunnel. Whew! Tomorrow is promising to be a long, full day... and the reward at the end of it is that we will be sleeping in our own home (punctuated by a bath with Baz in the whirlpool bathtub!). It's all a blur of excitement, exhaustion & gratitude. 

SO incredibly, overwhelmingly grateful that everything has come together so smoothly and that all of our hard work has paid off.


*We will be offline until Tuesday as we get settled & wait for internet installation. This very spread out 30 days of gratitude will continue next week! 

30 days of Gratitude: Day 19!

Happy New Moon! That means that I should be on a 3 day raw cleanse, right? Too much on my plate & feeling the need for the grounding that comes with heavier foods. Also, very hard to do a cleanse with very limited kitchen access. Going to get settled into the new place and bump my cleanse by a few days or so. Still planning to do it, just need to get settled first. I'm going to need it after a week of fast/convenient food.


Grateful for the ability to check in with myself and listen to the needs of this moment & to let go. Proud of the ability to be gentle with myself. It has taken much practice to get to this space of allowing. Grateful for the many opportunities for practice that lie ahead. 

30 days of Gratitude: Day 18!

Exhausted doesn't even begin to describe my energy level. We've been packing, moving, unpacking, cleaning, painting & doing all manner of other moving related jobs on top of the everyday chores. You know what? It feels good. Having something to focus on distracts from getting stuck in headspace. I've really needed to be pulled back from the internal, to 'lighten up', to find that all around glow.

Grateful: for a peaceful mind, a full heart, new dreams, wishes realized, an able body, hard work to do & to look forward to + a rekindled heart flame.